So today was our second day back in our PV home. AWESOME. I can't believe how beautiful my home town is. A perpetual postcard. Its a small peninsula and before it became rich suburb it was a spanish colonization and mission. It's one of the few very very green places in la county. You can see freaking Catalina from our bump and ride freaking horses on the trails here. I am blessed. I went for a 4-5 mile run through the eucalyptus trees on the dirt trail that leads to the ocean, made my midway stop at the beach let my mind wander then ran back home. I am truly blessed.

A couple things that I've been (re)realizing these days.

I need to force myself outdoors more. As i get so physically and mentally exhausted these days I just find myself indoors more watching tv. But for me to feel recharged and re-energized and full of life, I need to be doing things outdoors. Surfing, running, riding bikes, walking, even driving.... Doing these things allows my mind to wander and rest on the important things in life like enjoying the simplicity of the activity im engaged in.

I need to work on my patience. I am such an impatient person. I have a hard time surrendering control and when I asked a dear friend what was one thing I could work on in my life, she answered with patience. It's been the theme of my life. I think a lot of the clash in my life comes from all my hopes and dreams

I have strong inner life and complex feelings. Most of my feelings and passionate convictions are mostly on the inside so I need to extrovert them more. Journalizing them, sharing them, discussing them. I realize lately I haven't been doing that as much as I have in the past when I was exuding with passion. This is something that I need to return to instead of dwelling on my fatigue.

I value depth and authenticity in all my relationships. Because I've been so busy and all my other friends have been so busy, I feel like I connect at a very subpar level with my friends. I dont know what their hopes and dreams are anymore. I feel like I can't encourage them or comfort them so I feel so disconnected. Not to mention the fact that all my friends are planning to move to stupid norcal. So bitter. Nevertheless, I feel like God is (re)reminding me that I'm lucky to have such great friends and that I need to (re)reconnect with them.

I'm weird because I am always in conflict between the need for solitude and a desire for connection with a few others. But I guess if I could figure out this balance with being a firefighter, being true to myself, and being a good friend I wouldn't need Jesus anymore. Oh man, I am definitely in a dangerous place spiritually because right now I know how much I need Jesus more but I'm also unable to sustain a steady community and accountability. What church do i settle with. Rock harbor? Newsong irvine? Newsong la? Or a small church? Korean church (really scary for me)



I'm going camping in a couple weekends on my own to San Luis Obispo. I believe its going to be an epic trip for me. Me and Jesus. Good times.

Hey everybody,

I just have to stop and take a moment to reflect on the blessings Jebus has given me in my life.  YAY JEBUS!  I am flying into knoxville, tennessee sunday morning to fly a little R22BII my flight school bought back to long beach.  Week long cross country trip for will.  I'm excited to try all the food and experience a little bit of culture and see what winter looks like on the east coast. 


the R22BII looks like this black one


The fire in San Diego


This is oceanside and one of their creeks



on another note:  As some of you many know I moved to irvine 3 weeks ago.  My car is parked outside on the street on the road.  My mom goes to inspect my tires because it seems to be a little flat.  Some grumpy old man comes out of his house and yells at my mom to move my car because it is "blocking his view."  ?!?!  who does that.  Seriously.  WHO DOES THAT!?!  My mom was crying/mad/angry all day today.  Bullcrap